Revising and Editing in Practice
“In writing, you must kill all your darlings.†― William Faulkner
Revision means to see again and look at something with a fresh, critical perspective. When revising, you are taking time to rearrange your thoughts. Seeing it from a different viewpoint requires eliminating good intention and applying actual words. It’s an ongoing process of rethinking the writing.
Watch the following video Purdue OWL Vidcast: Cutting While RevisingLinks to an external site. (3:01) and complete the activity.
Citations
OWLPurdue. (2018, April 27). Purdue OWL vidcast: Cutting while revising [Video]. YouTube. https://youtu.be/OtUyJjJ_Hik
Activity
- Write a one-paragraph description of your favorite place. Help the reader smell, see, and feel your space by using descriptive adjectives and adverbs. Because the event occurred in the past, please use past-tense verbs. For example, if you include dialogue, you will say things like, “She stated†or “He answered.†In academic writing, we always write with past-tense verbs.
- Write in 1st person. (I, me, my)
- Read your paragraph out loud to yourself or someone else. Mark the parts that might confuse the reader so you can revise and edit your work.
- Implement revisions and rewrite the description of your favorite place.
- Correct the problems you find with:
- Word choice
- Sentence structure
- Grammar
- Punctuation
- Spelling
- Organization: structure of the descriptive paragraph
- Submit both the before and after paragraph.
Example
1st paragraph, revised by my friendMy favorite place was our kitchen, especially on Sunday’s when my grandma would cook fresh Italian food for the entire family. (And the feeling and senses) I always enjoyed watching her make all her meals from scratch after being taught how to cook from her mother-in-law. (Remove Mother-in-law, add in more detail and specifics). Even though our kitchen was small, she would move around with such grace as (add in wearing her apron, dress and etc) she had a spot on the counter for each specific dish as if it was a professional kitchen (explain how it looked). As the food was cooking on the stove, I remember the smell-remove and replace with ‘the aroma of’ …waving through the air, my stomach would start to growl in hopes of getting that first bite. The small space was filled with the smell of onions, garlic, tomatoes, and fresh pasta. I remember she received – remove and add ‘had’ a bread maker that sat on the counter, and it would feel the air she would always use it to make fresh sour dough, wheat, and banana bread. She allowed me to sit and watch so I could be her official food tastier, which to me was the best feeling. Explain more of how this made me feel. Bases is good but need to elaborate more of the smell, taste, and smell. Could picture but did not hit the other senses to make it feel as if she was there. Add more of how the room smelled, how it looked, how I felt.
2nd Paragraph after I made the revisions she notedMy favorite place was the kitchen in my childhood home, especially on Sunday when my grandmother would make Italian food from scratch for the entire family. I would sit and watch as she smoothly moved around in her Sunday-best dress, hair pinned up in tight curls, kit heels, and red apron, which reminded me of the housewives I would see on TV from the 1950s. My grandpa would listen and sing along to Nat King Cole and would sneak into the small kitchen for a dance, kiss, and a sample of everything Grandma was making. She would quickly smack his hand tenderly and shoo him out of the room so she could continue with her masterpiece. She gracefully moved around with such ease, and I can still smell the fragrant aroma of fresh bread baking and the crushed garlic and chopped onions sautéing in a pan of olive oil before she added the fresh, blended tomatoes and seasonings. As everything else was cooking, she would pull out the fresh pasta she made the day before and would begin creating my favorite dish: spinach ravioli. It was the perfect pocket of gooey cheese, creamy spinach, and soft dough. It felt like heaven in my mouth, and I would sit back with my eyes closed, looking forward to my next bite. The taste, smell and feeling I got from being in the kitchen with my grandmother will forever be an amazing memory that I will cherish for the rest of my life. I hope to be able to do the same with my grandchildren in the future.